Rancid Aluminum-James Hawes

I only chose this title, other than the fact that I adore this book, because I often bite my tongue and am quite familiar with the taste of rancid aluminum. Is it bad that my blood is rancid and metallic? Never mind. Not important.

I thought I should take the time to explain a few things about Malaysia. I've been here for 7 years and obviously living here colors my perceptions and is a big part of my life. Yes, where I live is a big part of my life. Win. But there are a lot of issues I discuss, and little things I take for granted, that are Greek to everyone else. So this is for you guys.

First and foremost is the religious/political situation here. Malaysia is a majority Muslim country and it does practice Syariah law. However, this only applies to Muslims, so there are plenty of bars, Christian Churches, Hindu and Buddhist temples, and other heathen places of worship. No temples though. It's extremely anti-semitic here, I've never come across a single Jewish person in over 7 years. However, the application of Syariah law is weird because all ethnic Malays HAVE to be Muslim, and they can only marry other Muslims unless your betrothed (I said betrothed!) converts. Of course your children will also have to be Muslim, even if you are divorced. The only time non-Muslims are susceptible to Syariah law is if they try to convert or subvert Muslims.

Also, they don't do the hand chopping thing here. They will, however, cane Muslims for drinking or having bad, ungodly sex.

This is easily the aspect of Malaysian culture/government that is the most upsetting to me.

While you can only buy alcohol from 9:30 am to 9:00 pm, bars have the same hours they do in the states and after hours clubs are, if anything, far more prolific. Muslims are prohibited by law to buy alcohol, or drink it (yes, there's a difference there) and can be punished for such as I said before but, every time I go out it's mostly Malays in the clubs. Also, you can go to 7-11 24 hours a day and buy beer and wine coolers which seems to defeat the purpose of the time-based liquor laws. If you are at a club, there may be a raid that involves pee tests for drugs. But they will ask to see ID and anyone with a foreign passport is free to go. I hate the laws here, but I do appreciate that they don't apply them to me, hhaaahaha.

The second big issue is the cost of living. While salaries in the higher echelons are comparable to those in America, for a lot of jobs the wages rank far, far below what we are used to. Government workers have piddly salaries at the lower levels but they do have fantastic benefits. Police are probably the most put upon in terms of money, they earn about rm400 a month, and although housing is included, I don't think that's enough to offset the cost of living. Not even close. And they wonder why bribery is so rampant. Health care, at government hospitals, is free for citizens, as well as their wives and children even if they (we) are not afforded permanent residency. That takes ages to get. AGES.

Even if you go to a private clinic for basic health issues, you won't pay much. A typical doctor's fee is 10 ringgit for the visit, plus the cost of medication which A. is really, really cheap (say you have tonsillitis, your antibiotics, cough medicine, flu medicine, pain reliever/fever reducer, lozenges and anti-inflammatory will probably run you no more than rm50, including the cost of the doctor) and you actually get your medicine at the clinic instead of going to a pharmacy and waiting forever.

I had swine flu last year and went to a government hospital. I had an X Ray, treatment for severe asthma, blood tests, and all kinds of drugs including Tamiflu and it cost me exactly nothing. It took a total of about 3 hours and most of that time was spent in the actual hospital, being tested and treated. You can also go the private hospital route and while that does get expensive, REALLY expensive, it still can't compare to the cost of American health care.

So, that's nice. On the other hand, health care for animals is crazy, CRAZY expensive because it's not subsidized. So are most groceries, cars, rent, clothes, books, etc. While we can go out to eat and pay rm20 for 4 people to eat delicious, healthy meals, including drinks, a liter of milk costs almost rm5 now. Paperback books, unless you know where the good discount book shops are, run around rm35. I have one cat and buy him the cheapest cat food on the market (whatever, he's a cat. He eats roaches and old tuna if I let him) and it still costs rm20 a month for food and another rm10 for cat litter. A meal at Wendy's, which is only acceptable in America because it's so cheap and has good salads and potatoes, runs close to rm20. The cheapest, locally produced cars start at around 40k. A cheap Toyota or Kia is well over 100k, and closing in on 200k most times.

I honestly don't know how most people live.

The third issue, and I think I will stop here, is schooling. Some government schools are quite decent according to my friends. My kids' school...not so much. Frequently the teachers don't show up at all, or are in the office doing paperwork, and there is no such thing as a substitute. The kids spend those times starting fights or watching entirely inappropriate movies in the library. The focus on testing is unparalleled. Their tolerance for any child who is at all different, disobedient, or needs any extra help at all, in any way, is non-existent. Private and international schools are more expensive than college, and I know of at least one woman, through my sister in law, whose salary went entirely to private school tuition.

Speaking of tuition (which is what they call tutoring), every child needs it. It's par for the course. While American kids (I can't speak for other countries) only utilise tuition if they are really having trouble, here it is absolutely necessary in order to pass the 3 major exams that each student sits every year. The two truly major exams are UPSR, in year 6 and SPM in year...something...in secondary school. My daughter is in year 6, I'm a bit iffy on the details in the later years!

My kids are in standard 5 and standard 6 and they have not once done a science experiment, a book report, or a historical diorama. In fact there is no history or geography at all, other than a few very basic lessons that are completely local in content. I teach them at home but, I'm not a teacher. Don't even ask me about the maths situation. The teachers don't seem to teach at all, just throw out lessons and tests and expect parents and tuition teachers to do all the real work. Is that a bit harsh? It's really not.

And now, I have a floor to mop, some spaghetti carbonara to cook, and a cat to beat. Film at 11.