Some things are so fantastic that you want to experience them again and again. I'm pretty sure this explains the clown car vagina phenomenon in the age of birth control. It also explains why there are a handful of books that I cannot stop reading. Wuthering Heights is at the top of the heap in that regard. I'm not even sure what it is, most of the characters are supremely unlikeable, including the famous protagonist/antagonist who pretty much makes the book, Heathcliff. At least he is an interesting character, albeit totally hateful. Catherine (Earnshaw) is a horrible, spoilt little monster who stopped being interesting as soon as she met the Lintons. Still, I could literally read this book every day of my life and be fairly happy about it.
There are other things. Alcohol, obviously. A good quiche. Sex, although not lately. Swimming. Go karts, I've only done it once but I know an obsession when I see one. Parasailing. Seeing something beautiful or hilarious or strange for the first time, although that is one that sucks because it can only happen one time for each new thing.
There are also things that I can go my whole life without experiencing even once. I know this, even though I haven't actually had the experience. Heroin, being stabbed and/or shot, torturing a cat, eating poo. Plenty of things.
There are a couple of things that I badly want to do, but fear holds me back. Keep in mind, I'm pretty much afraid of everything. It's not that I'm timid, I'm actually not timid at all. But I do have my share, and then some, of phobias, and beyond that I tend to overthink things. I have a few tattoos that I badly want to get but, I don't know that I could stand being stabbed with a needle for an hour or more. Especially since you can't be drunk beforehand...after having my eyebrow pierced when I was drinking, I understand the reason quite clearly. One just does NOT stop BLEEDING.
The other thing is sky diving. It's not the jumping out of a plane in general, although I'm terrified of heights (not planes though, unless they are over water which gets SUPER awkward when you travel across continents), it's not the idea that my parachute might fail. No, it's just my ankles. I twist my ankles regularly just walking. If I'm on my feet for more than a couple of hours at a time, I literally can't walk in the morning, they are that stiff and painful. I'd rather not think about what it will be like when I'm 50. I'm basically afraid that if I do jump out of a plane, and all goes well, my ankles will shatter on impact as soon as I land. And that cannot be pleasant.
On a totally unrelated side note, the conversion rate for ringgit to dollars is 3.5 ringgit (roughly, it changes daily) to one U.S. dollar. People have been asking!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Rancid Aluminum-James Hawes
I only chose this title, other than the fact that I adore this book, because I often bite my tongue and am quite familiar with the taste of rancid aluminum. Is it bad that my blood is rancid and metallic? Never mind. Not important.
I thought I should take the time to explain a few things about Malaysia. I've been here for 7 years and obviously living here colors my perceptions and is a big part of my life. Yes, where I live is a big part of my life. Win. But there are a lot of issues I discuss, and little things I take for granted, that are Greek to everyone else. So this is for you guys.
First and foremost is the religious/political situation here. Malaysia is a majority Muslim country and it does practice Syariah law. However, this only applies to Muslims, so there are plenty of bars, Christian Churches, Hindu and Buddhist temples, and other heathen places of worship. No temples though. It's extremely anti-semitic here, I've never come across a single Jewish person in over 7 years. However, the application of Syariah law is weird because all ethnic Malays HAVE to be Muslim, and they can only marry other Muslims unless your betrothed (I said betrothed!) converts. Of course your children will also have to be Muslim, even if you are divorced. The only time non-Muslims are susceptible to Syariah law is if they try to convert or subvert Muslims.
Also, they don't do the hand chopping thing here. They will, however, cane Muslims for drinking or having bad, ungodly sex.
This is easily the aspect of Malaysian culture/government that is the most upsetting to me.
While you can only buy alcohol from 9:30 am to 9:00 pm, bars have the same hours they do in the states and after hours clubs are, if anything, far more prolific. Muslims are prohibited by law to buy alcohol, or drink it (yes, there's a difference there) and can be punished for such as I said before but, every time I go out it's mostly Malays in the clubs. Also, you can go to 7-11 24 hours a day and buy beer and wine coolers which seems to defeat the purpose of the time-based liquor laws. If you are at a club, there may be a raid that involves pee tests for drugs. But they will ask to see ID and anyone with a foreign passport is free to go. I hate the laws here, but I do appreciate that they don't apply them to me, hhaaahaha.
The second big issue is the cost of living. While salaries in the higher echelons are comparable to those in America, for a lot of jobs the wages rank far, far below what we are used to. Government workers have piddly salaries at the lower levels but they do have fantastic benefits. Police are probably the most put upon in terms of money, they earn about rm400 a month, and although housing is included, I don't think that's enough to offset the cost of living. Not even close. And they wonder why bribery is so rampant. Health care, at government hospitals, is free for citizens, as well as their wives and children even if they (we) are not afforded permanent residency. That takes ages to get. AGES.
Even if you go to a private clinic for basic health issues, you won't pay much. A typical doctor's fee is 10 ringgit for the visit, plus the cost of medication which A. is really, really cheap (say you have tonsillitis, your antibiotics, cough medicine, flu medicine, pain reliever/fever reducer, lozenges and anti-inflammatory will probably run you no more than rm50, including the cost of the doctor) and you actually get your medicine at the clinic instead of going to a pharmacy and waiting forever.
I had swine flu last year and went to a government hospital. I had an X Ray, treatment for severe asthma, blood tests, and all kinds of drugs including Tamiflu and it cost me exactly nothing. It took a total of about 3 hours and most of that time was spent in the actual hospital, being tested and treated. You can also go the private hospital route and while that does get expensive, REALLY expensive, it still can't compare to the cost of American health care.
So, that's nice. On the other hand, health care for animals is crazy, CRAZY expensive because it's not subsidized. So are most groceries, cars, rent, clothes, books, etc. While we can go out to eat and pay rm20 for 4 people to eat delicious, healthy meals, including drinks, a liter of milk costs almost rm5 now. Paperback books, unless you know where the good discount book shops are, run around rm35. I have one cat and buy him the cheapest cat food on the market (whatever, he's a cat. He eats roaches and old tuna if I let him) and it still costs rm20 a month for food and another rm10 for cat litter. A meal at Wendy's, which is only acceptable in America because it's so cheap and has good salads and potatoes, runs close to rm20. The cheapest, locally produced cars start at around 40k. A cheap Toyota or Kia is well over 100k, and closing in on 200k most times.
I honestly don't know how most people live.
The third issue, and I think I will stop here, is schooling. Some government schools are quite decent according to my friends. My kids' school...not so much. Frequently the teachers don't show up at all, or are in the office doing paperwork, and there is no such thing as a substitute. The kids spend those times starting fights or watching entirely inappropriate movies in the library. The focus on testing is unparalleled. Their tolerance for any child who is at all different, disobedient, or needs any extra help at all, in any way, is non-existent. Private and international schools are more expensive than college, and I know of at least one woman, through my sister in law, whose salary went entirely to private school tuition.
Speaking of tuition (which is what they call tutoring), every child needs it. It's par for the course. While American kids (I can't speak for other countries) only utilise tuition if they are really having trouble, here it is absolutely necessary in order to pass the 3 major exams that each student sits every year. The two truly major exams are UPSR, in year 6 and SPM in year...something...in secondary school. My daughter is in year 6, I'm a bit iffy on the details in the later years!
My kids are in standard 5 and standard 6 and they have not once done a science experiment, a book report, or a historical diorama. In fact there is no history or geography at all, other than a few very basic lessons that are completely local in content. I teach them at home but, I'm not a teacher. Don't even ask me about the maths situation. The teachers don't seem to teach at all, just throw out lessons and tests and expect parents and tuition teachers to do all the real work. Is that a bit harsh? It's really not.
And now, I have a floor to mop, some spaghetti carbonara to cook, and a cat to beat. Film at 11.
I thought I should take the time to explain a few things about Malaysia. I've been here for 7 years and obviously living here colors my perceptions and is a big part of my life. Yes, where I live is a big part of my life. Win. But there are a lot of issues I discuss, and little things I take for granted, that are Greek to everyone else. So this is for you guys.
First and foremost is the religious/political situation here. Malaysia is a majority Muslim country and it does practice Syariah law. However, this only applies to Muslims, so there are plenty of bars, Christian Churches, Hindu and Buddhist temples, and other heathen places of worship. No temples though. It's extremely anti-semitic here, I've never come across a single Jewish person in over 7 years. However, the application of Syariah law is weird because all ethnic Malays HAVE to be Muslim, and they can only marry other Muslims unless your betrothed (I said betrothed!) converts. Of course your children will also have to be Muslim, even if you are divorced. The only time non-Muslims are susceptible to Syariah law is if they try to convert or subvert Muslims.
Also, they don't do the hand chopping thing here. They will, however, cane Muslims for drinking or having bad, ungodly sex.
This is easily the aspect of Malaysian culture/government that is the most upsetting to me.
While you can only buy alcohol from 9:30 am to 9:00 pm, bars have the same hours they do in the states and after hours clubs are, if anything, far more prolific. Muslims are prohibited by law to buy alcohol, or drink it (yes, there's a difference there) and can be punished for such as I said before but, every time I go out it's mostly Malays in the clubs. Also, you can go to 7-11 24 hours a day and buy beer and wine coolers which seems to defeat the purpose of the time-based liquor laws. If you are at a club, there may be a raid that involves pee tests for drugs. But they will ask to see ID and anyone with a foreign passport is free to go. I hate the laws here, but I do appreciate that they don't apply them to me, hhaaahaha.
The second big issue is the cost of living. While salaries in the higher echelons are comparable to those in America, for a lot of jobs the wages rank far, far below what we are used to. Government workers have piddly salaries at the lower levels but they do have fantastic benefits. Police are probably the most put upon in terms of money, they earn about rm400 a month, and although housing is included, I don't think that's enough to offset the cost of living. Not even close. And they wonder why bribery is so rampant. Health care, at government hospitals, is free for citizens, as well as their wives and children even if they (we) are not afforded permanent residency. That takes ages to get. AGES.
Even if you go to a private clinic for basic health issues, you won't pay much. A typical doctor's fee is 10 ringgit for the visit, plus the cost of medication which A. is really, really cheap (say you have tonsillitis, your antibiotics, cough medicine, flu medicine, pain reliever/fever reducer, lozenges and anti-inflammatory will probably run you no more than rm50, including the cost of the doctor) and you actually get your medicine at the clinic instead of going to a pharmacy and waiting forever.
I had swine flu last year and went to a government hospital. I had an X Ray, treatment for severe asthma, blood tests, and all kinds of drugs including Tamiflu and it cost me exactly nothing. It took a total of about 3 hours and most of that time was spent in the actual hospital, being tested and treated. You can also go the private hospital route and while that does get expensive, REALLY expensive, it still can't compare to the cost of American health care.
So, that's nice. On the other hand, health care for animals is crazy, CRAZY expensive because it's not subsidized. So are most groceries, cars, rent, clothes, books, etc. While we can go out to eat and pay rm20 for 4 people to eat delicious, healthy meals, including drinks, a liter of milk costs almost rm5 now. Paperback books, unless you know where the good discount book shops are, run around rm35. I have one cat and buy him the cheapest cat food on the market (whatever, he's a cat. He eats roaches and old tuna if I let him) and it still costs rm20 a month for food and another rm10 for cat litter. A meal at Wendy's, which is only acceptable in America because it's so cheap and has good salads and potatoes, runs close to rm20. The cheapest, locally produced cars start at around 40k. A cheap Toyota or Kia is well over 100k, and closing in on 200k most times.
I honestly don't know how most people live.
The third issue, and I think I will stop here, is schooling. Some government schools are quite decent according to my friends. My kids' school...not so much. Frequently the teachers don't show up at all, or are in the office doing paperwork, and there is no such thing as a substitute. The kids spend those times starting fights or watching entirely inappropriate movies in the library. The focus on testing is unparalleled. Their tolerance for any child who is at all different, disobedient, or needs any extra help at all, in any way, is non-existent. Private and international schools are more expensive than college, and I know of at least one woman, through my sister in law, whose salary went entirely to private school tuition.
Speaking of tuition (which is what they call tutoring), every child needs it. It's par for the course. While American kids (I can't speak for other countries) only utilise tuition if they are really having trouble, here it is absolutely necessary in order to pass the 3 major exams that each student sits every year. The two truly major exams are UPSR, in year 6 and SPM in year...something...in secondary school. My daughter is in year 6, I'm a bit iffy on the details in the later years!
My kids are in standard 5 and standard 6 and they have not once done a science experiment, a book report, or a historical diorama. In fact there is no history or geography at all, other than a few very basic lessons that are completely local in content. I teach them at home but, I'm not a teacher. Don't even ask me about the maths situation. The teachers don't seem to teach at all, just throw out lessons and tests and expect parents and tuition teachers to do all the real work. Is that a bit harsh? It's really not.
And now, I have a floor to mop, some spaghetti carbonara to cook, and a cat to beat. Film at 11.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Honesty
Is honesty really the best policy? Is brutal honesty something to cheer? Is there a reason that most people lie?
Sometimes, no, and of course.
Within close relationships, it's usually best to be honest. But not always. There are times when lying is good, kind, and far less likely to get you stabbed. Say you've been happily married/co-habitating or just blissfully in love for a significant period of time. You are in a fight, or on a break, or whatever, and possibly there is a night of casual sex with someone whom you care nothing for. The great dilemma, to tell or not to tell? Telling might make you feel better, because carrying a secret around is painful and almost suffocating. And your significant other might claim to want to know the truth. In fact, they probably believe they do.
They don't. No one wants to know that. No one needs to know that. Alleviating your own conscience is not always a good idea. Sometimes it's good to keep things inside. Lie to yourself and everyone around you. I know, that's old school.
If you want to be an honest person, live honestly. Otherwise you're just being mean.
Brutal Honesty. Why are people so gleefully proud of this trait? I am far too honest. But even I know when to keep quiet, or tell an appropriate social lie. Brutal honesty is just that:brutal. It's not necessary or nice. It's not helpful. It serves no purpose at all except for the Brutally Honest One to feel slightly superior for a little while whenever they see a chance to tell other people why they suck. I am not a fan of this one. If we were all totally honest all the time, society would collapse. There would be no government, plenty of war, no love, and not much sex. "The Invention of Lying" was a pretty fantastic movie but, I don't want to live in that world. I LIKE it when people tell me 'omg no, you're not that fat, you're totally pretty, and your alcoholism is ADORABLE'. The world of half truths and lies is my world, and I enjoy it here.
I've pretty much explained the reasons that people lie. The reasons that people NEED to lie. I don't lie about myself or my life, although I do try to keep some things back. No, really, I do. But I lie about a lot of other things. Lies keep us together, stop us from killing each other, and make some of us feel like it's really ok to wear those pants even though they ceased to be appropriate 8 pounds ago.
Sometimes, no, and of course.
Within close relationships, it's usually best to be honest. But not always. There are times when lying is good, kind, and far less likely to get you stabbed. Say you've been happily married/co-habitating or just blissfully in love for a significant period of time. You are in a fight, or on a break, or whatever, and possibly there is a night of casual sex with someone whom you care nothing for. The great dilemma, to tell or not to tell? Telling might make you feel better, because carrying a secret around is painful and almost suffocating. And your significant other might claim to want to know the truth. In fact, they probably believe they do.
They don't. No one wants to know that. No one needs to know that. Alleviating your own conscience is not always a good idea. Sometimes it's good to keep things inside. Lie to yourself and everyone around you. I know, that's old school.
If you want to be an honest person, live honestly. Otherwise you're just being mean.
Brutal Honesty. Why are people so gleefully proud of this trait? I am far too honest. But even I know when to keep quiet, or tell an appropriate social lie. Brutal honesty is just that:brutal. It's not necessary or nice. It's not helpful. It serves no purpose at all except for the Brutally Honest One to feel slightly superior for a little while whenever they see a chance to tell other people why they suck. I am not a fan of this one. If we were all totally honest all the time, society would collapse. There would be no government, plenty of war, no love, and not much sex. "The Invention of Lying" was a pretty fantastic movie but, I don't want to live in that world. I LIKE it when people tell me 'omg no, you're not that fat, you're totally pretty, and your alcoholism is ADORABLE'. The world of half truths and lies is my world, and I enjoy it here.
I've pretty much explained the reasons that people lie. The reasons that people NEED to lie. I don't lie about myself or my life, although I do try to keep some things back. No, really, I do. But I lie about a lot of other things. Lies keep us together, stop us from killing each other, and make some of us feel like it's really ok to wear those pants even though they ceased to be appropriate 8 pounds ago.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
A Dead Language-Peter Rushforth
It always feels like a little miracle to find an author who actually makes use of language, who understands that words can be art. Thank you Mr. Rushforth, thank you for restoring my faith in humanity.
For about 5 minutes. Once I put the book down, there's the real world waiting to suck all the hope and happiness out of me again.
The thing about Malaysia is, it does have some redeeming qualities. It's absolutely beautiful here, the food is incredible, as my gigantic ass will attest to, and it is very culturally rich. The socialised health care is practically magical to someone who has had to choose between buying diapers or taking a baby to the doctor.
And while they (by they I mostly mean the government) give lip service to remaining true to their roots and cultures, that's not what I am seeing. What I see is a sad, horrible race to emulate Western society in the most offensive ways; greed, tiny hooker shorts, McDonalds, KFC, shitty music, horrible, overpriced, over-bred dogs and cats that cost as much as the average monthly salary. Lovely things like that.
However, any attempt at being progressive as far as the positive aspects of Western culture go is met with anger and derision. Freedom of the press? Reproductive rights for women? Gay rights? Freedom of religion? God forbid! So it's fine to get fat on Burger King and infect people's minds with the twin horrors of Miley Cyrus and Nicholas Sparks, but to suggest that maybe the government should free the remaining HINDRAF leaders (whose only crime was to encourage Malaysian Indians to organise a peaceful protest, three YEARS ago) and you're a dirty foreigner, a rebellious, secular whore who wants to undermine the entire Asian and Muslim way of life. I won't even get into their selective and disturbing use of Syariah law or the complete lack of safe, legal abortion facilities.
I am baffled, bewildered, astounded and confused. I am not the type of person who hates Western society, or my own country. I love America and I think I'm lucky to have been born there. I want Western medicine and European writers and Mexican beer and American attitudes. I think there are a lot of disgusting things though, and I really cannot even begin to fathom why those horrible, cruel, useless, stupid, banal and unhealthy things are embraced so readily while the important things are shunned.
As soon as I become jesus, I promise, things will change. Just, just let me work on that for a bit.
For about 5 minutes. Once I put the book down, there's the real world waiting to suck all the hope and happiness out of me again.
The thing about Malaysia is, it does have some redeeming qualities. It's absolutely beautiful here, the food is incredible, as my gigantic ass will attest to, and it is very culturally rich. The socialised health care is practically magical to someone who has had to choose between buying diapers or taking a baby to the doctor.
And while they (by they I mostly mean the government) give lip service to remaining true to their roots and cultures, that's not what I am seeing. What I see is a sad, horrible race to emulate Western society in the most offensive ways; greed, tiny hooker shorts, McDonalds, KFC, shitty music, horrible, overpriced, over-bred dogs and cats that cost as much as the average monthly salary. Lovely things like that.
However, any attempt at being progressive as far as the positive aspects of Western culture go is met with anger and derision. Freedom of the press? Reproductive rights for women? Gay rights? Freedom of religion? God forbid! So it's fine to get fat on Burger King and infect people's minds with the twin horrors of Miley Cyrus and Nicholas Sparks, but to suggest that maybe the government should free the remaining HINDRAF leaders (whose only crime was to encourage Malaysian Indians to organise a peaceful protest, three YEARS ago) and you're a dirty foreigner, a rebellious, secular whore who wants to undermine the entire Asian and Muslim way of life. I won't even get into their selective and disturbing use of Syariah law or the complete lack of safe, legal abortion facilities.
I am baffled, bewildered, astounded and confused. I am not the type of person who hates Western society, or my own country. I love America and I think I'm lucky to have been born there. I want Western medicine and European writers and Mexican beer and American attitudes. I think there are a lot of disgusting things though, and I really cannot even begin to fathom why those horrible, cruel, useless, stupid, banal and unhealthy things are embraced so readily while the important things are shunned.
As soon as I become jesus, I promise, things will change. Just, just let me work on that for a bit.
Imported from the horror that is Thoughts.com
The general idea for this blog is supposed to be A Book a Day. I do usually read a book a day but, it's mostly about giving me a focal point for writing, not necessarily about the book I read that day. Nor does it imply that I will write every day because I can almost guarantee I won't.
However, my dear computer friend and constant antagonist, Ms. Kathryn Oshlick, has given me a slightly different inspiration for this initial bit of self absorption. This essay should be titled, Why I Enjoy Pop Culture, and Why I Kind of Freaking Need to.
My upbringing was not conventional. It wasn't even unconventional. It was, now this is kind of magical these days, unique. All cultures have certain ceremonies and events and experiences that bind people together, and the American culture is no different. I really didn't have any of those. And the majority of experiences I did have, most of which I cherish, a few of which are a little bit discomfiting, are not things to which most people can relate.
This is fine. I have 5 younger siblings and my parents...only my mom now, but I had my dad for nearly 30 years so he certainly counts. They all shared my strange and wonderful upbringing and, to a large degree, my mentality. Not entirely, even in a family of weirdos, I have always been the black sheep. My blue eyes, my penchant for casual sex and Shakespeare. Yeah, I'm an eternal outcast and, that's all right with me.
What I'm trying to say is this. I have no real way to relate to most people. No shared experienes, no high school graduation, no nit picky but ignorant mother, no over protective father, no bridal shower or wedding or magical and happy moment upon realising there is a fetus in me. What I have, other than an impressive selection of neuroses, is pop culture.
I relate to people because we love the same movies, music, books and tv shows. I may have similar social or political views but, I always feel awkward because there is nothing else that connects me to other people. Except pop culture. I realise how ridiculous it all is, even books that we consider classics today were villified and harshly reviewed like any contemporary work of fiction. It's all nonsense, but I love it anyway.
Glee? Modern Family? True Blood? Lady Gaga? Twilight? Even when something is blatantly awful in most regards (particularly the latter two, ktxh) I still like it. I want to share tiny normal things with other people, and that is a large part of what makes me get involved with things that don't actually matter.
I also like to be entertained. And I do also bond with people over more important issues, gay rights, animal rights, reproductive rights, good literature, good music, environmental and socio-economic issues.
But pop culture is the glue that I need, the glue that I don't have because of my wonderful, strange childhood and adulthood.
However, my dear computer friend and constant antagonist, Ms. Kathryn Oshlick, has given me a slightly different inspiration for this initial bit of self absorption. This essay should be titled, Why I Enjoy Pop Culture, and Why I Kind of Freaking Need to.
My upbringing was not conventional. It wasn't even unconventional. It was, now this is kind of magical these days, unique. All cultures have certain ceremonies and events and experiences that bind people together, and the American culture is no different. I really didn't have any of those. And the majority of experiences I did have, most of which I cherish, a few of which are a little bit discomfiting, are not things to which most people can relate.
This is fine. I have 5 younger siblings and my parents...only my mom now, but I had my dad for nearly 30 years so he certainly counts. They all shared my strange and wonderful upbringing and, to a large degree, my mentality. Not entirely, even in a family of weirdos, I have always been the black sheep. My blue eyes, my penchant for casual sex and Shakespeare. Yeah, I'm an eternal outcast and, that's all right with me.
What I'm trying to say is this. I have no real way to relate to most people. No shared experienes, no high school graduation, no nit picky but ignorant mother, no over protective father, no bridal shower or wedding or magical and happy moment upon realising there is a fetus in me. What I have, other than an impressive selection of neuroses, is pop culture.
I relate to people because we love the same movies, music, books and tv shows. I may have similar social or political views but, I always feel awkward because there is nothing else that connects me to other people. Except pop culture. I realise how ridiculous it all is, even books that we consider classics today were villified and harshly reviewed like any contemporary work of fiction. It's all nonsense, but I love it anyway.
Glee? Modern Family? True Blood? Lady Gaga? Twilight? Even when something is blatantly awful in most regards (particularly the latter two, ktxh) I still like it. I want to share tiny normal things with other people, and that is a large part of what makes me get involved with things that don't actually matter.
I also like to be entertained. And I do also bond with people over more important issues, gay rights, animal rights, reproductive rights, good literature, good music, environmental and socio-economic issues.
But pop culture is the glue that I need, the glue that I don't have because of my wonderful, strange childhood and adulthood.
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